Lura Syllana
Time seems to pass by so fast as I meditate. It’s still hard to ignore the call of the blue flame. I want to dive back into it, but thankfully the Divine Light I feel when I channel through the crystal is just as fulfilling, if not more so. It takes me a little over twelve days, meditating around eight hours a day to complete my hours. Then I sit with Sister Jereno to pass her test where I show her that I can make the Light with ease. In fact, it’s become almost instinctual. It barely takes a couple of seconds to clear my mind and bring the Light out.
Ralodan, Biremeril, and Melyis have also made it to level one. Unfortunately, our next class is taught by a noble Sister named Eredina Duskforce. She’s not so helpful, but the tasks we need to learn to achieve level two don’t seem too hard. We have to be able to encompass ourselves within the Light, which it seems like I’ve already done that. Then we also have to focus the Light to a point. It doesn’t take long for Ralodan to complete it and pass on to level two, which makes me a little jealous.
Thankfully, I was right, and I have done part of it already. I’m already able to encompass myself within the Light. It feels so natural to do so. It’s as if my body seeks to be blanketed by it.
Now, trying to focus that Light into a single point is a lot harder. That takes a lot of will and effort. I can hardly get it smaller than my palm. I feel like I have to use all my concentration and strength just to contain it within a ball that will fit inside my hand. It’s a struggle. I have to fight it with both hands.
I spend all day in my room trying to squeeze the ball into a coin with no luck. By the time lunch comes around the next day, I’m drenched in sweat and out of breath. I’m exhausted. I pull myself to lunch and grab some food.
“You kinda stink,” Chalia says as she holds her nose as I take a seat next to her.
“I have to agree with her,” Charinva says, yet she doesn’t even bother to cover her nose as she uses one hand to eat and the other to hold a book, sitting across from me.
“What’s got you in a sweat?” Ralodan says as takes the seat on the other side of me.
“Just trying to make a mountain into a molehill.” I stab my fork into the vegetables and jam them in my mouth.
“Come again?” Ralodan asks, raising an eyebrow.
“I’ve been trying to focus the Light into a point. I can’t even get it smaller than a ball the size of my hand.”
“Oh, that was easy,” Chalia says, with a wave of her hand.
“Yeah, I didn’t have much of a problem with it either,” Ralodan says as he points at the end of my fork. A tiny speck of Light rests on the tip of it. Ralodan has a huge grin.
“Woah! How did you get your energy to be so faint? Mine feels like it’s going to explode,” Charinva asks as she stares up from her book, wide-eyed.
Ralodan leans back in his chair with a casual smile. “I just feel the flow. Light is already there. I make it shine the way I want it to. Just feel the flow of Light. You can only do that if you’re in a state of flow yourself. Like when you meditate and enter that trancelike state. It’s the flow.”
“Why do you call it the flow?” Chalia asks, narrowing her eyes.
Ralodan just shrugs. “I like the way it sounds. It sounds the way I think it feels.”
She shrugs. “Fair enough.”
“So, this flow is basically like meditating?” Charinva asks as she pulls out a long stick that looks like the end of a quill.
“Yeah. But it’s not the same as meditation. You’re active and aware of everything. It’s more about letting go of your thoughts and who you are. You essentially become the Light. When you’re like that, you can basically make it do what you want it to,” he says before he stuffs his face with a fork full.
“That’s extraordinary. I’ve never seen that written anywhere. Where did you learn this?” Charinva asks as she writes notes in the margins of her book.
Ralodan shrugs. “I don’t know. It just felt natural. When I look at the Light, I can see the way it flows. It’s like a river, almost. But it never wavers and always flows the straight path. If you can feel each particle within the Light and what it is, you can mold it however you want to. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all. I just know that’s how I feel it.”
“I’ll have to experiment a little until I feel what you’re describing,” Charinva says.
“I think this might work with any other energy, too. At least it does with Arcane,” he adds and she jots that down too.
“Where’s your ink?” Chalia asks Charinva as she looks around the table.
“An Ink bottle is a terrible inconvenience. I created this to eliminate that inconvenience,” she says as she holds up the thing that looks like a featherless quill. “It’s a quill, but I hollowed it out and put a tiny little ball at the tip, and it’s held in there by a little chamber. As you move the ball, it gets wet in the ink.”
“So, the ball rotates the ink out of the quill?” I ask as I inspect the answer is yes.
“Yes! Exactly.” She smiles and looks a bit shocked by my statement.
“My father used to be somewhat of an inventor. Well, more of a fixer-upper. Everyone used to go to him to get their junk fixed.” I smile. Thinking about memories that threaten to bring the tears out. I take a deep breath and try to find that flow Ralodan was speaking about. I seek the calm, breathing in the air and find it.
After lunch, I head back to my room and try again. Instead of focusing on the task, I slip back into meditation, trying to seek that flow Ralodan speaks of. However, it’s so hard to ignore that immense fire that calls to me. It tries to pull me to it. To submerge me into its overwhelming power.
A knock at the door pulls me away. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. Ralodan!”
“Come in!”
He opens the door with his usual casual smile and steps in. “I just wanted to see if you needed help with your task.”
“How do you enter this flow state when the fire of that energy inside us is trying to pull you into it?” I ask.
“That is a tough one. It’s a hard call to ignore. It’s so bright, vibrant, and addictive. The thing is, when you let the flame consume you, you are not flowing with it, but letting it overpower you and getting pushed by its power. You’re not the one in control, or even the channeler; you’re just the conduit. When you find the flow, you become the flame. It works the same with Divine Light as it does with the Arcane flame. You have to understand the flame and know it as you know yourself. Just as with the Divine Light. Let it flow inside you, just as you flow within it. Only then can you find balance in yourself and within the Light. Once you’ve achieved that balance, you can ask the Light to do whatever you want it to, and it will obey.”
I nod, closing my eyes to meditate as he sits down in my chair. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Focusing on my heartbeat, my breath, and seeking the flow. I look deep inside me. Find the flames that burn deep within, but ignore the call. I try to see the flame for what it is, a light, an energy. It is made of so many little specks. They swirl like a fire. Breathing in and out, pulsing like a heartbeat. It feels alive within me. This living manifestation of energy, and I can feel its consciousness. A consciousness that is ageless and formless. It is within me and outside of me. It is all around me. I open my eyes and see it flowing like a river. It flows from source to source. From me to Ralodan, from Ralodan to me, connecting us along with everything else that contains the flame. “I see it. It’s beautiful.”
Ralodan smiles. “See? You’re becoming the flow. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
“It is. It truly is,” I say, biting my lip, unable to contain my joy. “How… how did you discover this?”
Ralodan shrugs. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just knew it inside of me.”
I look at him, searching his eyes. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Go ahead,” he says.
“What was your life like before you came to the church?”
He shrugs. “I lived in a monastery on an island somewhere north of here. The island was completely made up of the Church. Having beautiful cathedrals, churches, monasteries, and a full city of servants to the Light. I don’t know my true parents. Never met them. I do have these weird dreams of people like me.
He scratches his head as he bites his lip and then meets my eyes. He then sighs. “I think they might be my family or siblings. They call me Reuel. I believe that means friend. And we follow our father, who I can’t see or hear. I don’t know his name, nor can I see his face. I just know his voice and his presence. It feels like I’m a part of him in some strange way. It’s odd, I know, but it’s a dream. I also have weird dreams where I’m another person. Like one dream, I was practicing magic in this academy. I was using my magic to win and lose at gambling. They called me Magnus. I also had a dream that I was somewhere cold. I was always full of anger and I kept getting into fights with people who were up to no good. My mother was a captain, and she called me Thorvir. There’s a ton more like that. All of them are a bit odd. I just don’t know what any of it means.”
Maybe he is not the Angel Akrasiel reborn. If he was, wouldn’t his dreams call him as such? Despite that, maybe this Reuel person is someone important. Maybe he was a god or something? I don’t know what to make of this Magnus or the human. Thinking about this rebirth stuff makes me realize something. If the Angel Akrasiel can be reborn, couldn’t the other gods? The ones who seek to destroy or conquer us… Or even our older gods of the Arcane such as this Nabu? I look up at Ralodan. “Do you think that the gods who sought to conquer or destroy us would also be reborn like the Angel Akrasiel?”
He shrugs. “I suppose that would make sense. I suppose if it works for one, it should work for the others. You are right, for some odd reason. After all, usually, these things are universal and consistent.”
“You’re probably right.” Now I’m left with another question: who is Reuel and what does it all mean?
“Well, I’ll leave you to practice now that you’ve found the flow,” he says with a smile.
“Thank you so much for your help,” I say and he just gives me that smile and nods before leaving.
I close my eyes and find that same feeling. That flow. This time it is not as hard as before. I suppose, once you see it, once you understand it, it just comes naturally. Once I enter the flow state, it feels so right. I see how things work. How they are. I take the flow and direct it through the crystal and I’m astonished when a flow of warm yellow light comes out. It’s so full of joy, but it’s not exactly pure. It’s mostly Divine, but there’s still some Arcane inside it. Not just Arcane, but something else. Something… Green. It mixes with the Arcane and Divine, giving this light a yellow hue, but it’s neither Divine nor is it Arcane. I separate the three and study each of them. The Arcane I know quite well. It is the light that dwells inside me in a near ocean. I can feel it within me, burning. It also swarms around my invisible ring. That is how he was able to see it…
The Divine Light is something different. It is pure white. Not only is it joy, but it is also justice. It lacks the chaos that Arcane has. It’s pure order. A Light that heals and protects. It seeks to still the chaos and bring peace and stability.
My gaze then lands on the green light. It’s not that different from the Divine Light, but it lacks its order. It’s not exactly chaotic, but it is caught somewhere in between order and chaos. Struggling to find both. The green also heals. And it seeks to grow and flourish. It also clings to the other two lights, seeking their warmth. The green light seems to flourish when it is connected with them. Not only that, it makes them grow stronger as well. That is odd… What is this green light? What does it represent? I seek it out and find more of it within me, which is even stranger yet. There’s actually quite a bit of it inside me. I never noticed it before because it is so intertwined with the Arcane Light, and rather silent compared to it, yet it makes the Arcane stronger and brighter. What could it possibly be, and why does it react like this? It’s strange.
I decide to seek out more of it. I head outside of my room and follow the flow of the lights. Arcane and Divine Light seem to struggle with each to fill the room. Not quite like oil and water, because they seem to meld into each other somewhat, but not completely. The chaos within the Arcane Flame seems to propel the Divine Light, and the Divine Light struggles to bring order to the chaos within the Arcane light. yet the two seem to merge with a benevolent joyfulness within both of them.
I follow the flow and stop when I come across another being that swells with both of them, along with that green Light. “Hey, Lura, you okay?”
I pull myself out of the flow to find Chalia looking at me with a worried expression. “You look as if you’re kind of out of it.”
I smile at her. “I did it, Chalia. The flow that Ralodan spoke of. I discovered it and it is incredible.”
She narrows her eyes. “Really? How so?”
“I can see the flow of energies within the air and within us. It’s so beautiful,” I say.
“How did you do it?” she asks.
“You just have to let go of control and open your eyes. See the Light and the flame for what they are. Once you discover what they are, you can see it flow. It’s amazing,” I say, unable to contain my excitement.
She tilts her head, biting her lip. “I guess I will give it a try, then.”
She then heads off to her own room. I return to the flow and follow it, finding the white and blue rivers fighting and melding with each other down the halls. It’s strange how there is no green light in the air. How come? I only seem to find it within people. What is it?
I head out to the courtyard and gasp, quickly becoming overwhelmed. The green light is everywhere outside. Within the green grass and in the little pollen that gets carried by the gentle breeze. It’s in the trees, the flowers, and it even shines down in the sunlight. I suddenly understand what it is. It’s life. The green light is life itself. That’s why it seems to cling to the other two lights. And that’s why it seems to blossom and grow. It flourishes under the light of the others, in turn giving them strength as well. This is truly the most beautiful and majestic thing I’ve ever seen and felt. I remember now what Akrasiel said about life.
The Celestial life seeks to spread and blossom
That is what this energy is called. Celestial life. I breathe in the air and in turn take in the Light. Filling myself with life. It feels so refreshing. So vibrant and alive. I always want to feel it.
—
After finding the flow, forming a point with the Light feels as easy as lifting my finger. I just take the particles of the Light in the air and weave them together, brightening the shine. I realize now what Ralodan had done at lunch and how he was able to control the brightness. It was about the concentration of these tiny little flecks of Light. He concentrated them within a focal point, enough to give a faint glow without becoming too dense.
Of course, I passed the test easily enough. This makes Biremeril frustrated. He can’t quite figure out how to get the Light to form a point. Meanwhile, Melyis also passed, and I assume Ralodan showed her as well. The two seem to grow closer and closer. I pull Biremeril aside and teach him how to reach the state of flow.
It takes him a good deal of explaining, lots of questions, and a few demonstrations before it finally clicks for him. Chalia also finds it and so does Charinva. I assume Charinva figured it out solely based on what Ralodan said at lunch. She’s so smart. She’s still quite surprised that she hasn’t found it mentioned in any text. It seems few people know of the flow, or are reluctant to talk about it.
With this flow, the lessons we have to learn at each level seem so easy. Healing is as simple as weaving those tiny flecks of Light within the cut and pulling the torn flesh, muscle, and veins together as if I was sewing a quilt or dress. The Light does most of the work, mending the flesh and muscles. Cleansing and purifying diseases and illnesses is not that different. Using the Light, you let it flow through the body, burning up the corruption within it. It’s nothing more than that.
The Sisters are astonished at our progress and ease. It seems none of them know the flow. How were they able to do all this without the flow? It seems impossible to do it without seeing the flow of the Light. Even the spells I thought were so difficult within the books I borrow from Charinva are now so simple. It’s just a matter of directing the flow in order to get that result. Like with transmutation. When I look at the metal, I can see the tiny particles within it. I just have to weave their flow to extract what is needed to change it into something else. Of course, it is the thing I extract that presents the danger, and vice versa for doing the opposite. Of course, to do the opposite, you have to extract what is needed from part of it and put it into the rest of it. Like with turning iron into gold, it seems like you’re left with less, but in truth, the gold is far more than the iron. It makes so much sense now.
Of course, it’s quite difficult to take the air and make it gold. I would nearly suffocate myself trying to draw enough air in to make an adequate amount of gold. Besides, air itself is more complicated than I originally believed. There isn’t just one kind of air. It’s mixed with so many different kinds of air, if that makes any sense. I don’t know how else to explain it. I take a little pleasure when I surpass Olizara Greatgazer, the girl who taught my first class as a Novice. She was not happy about it, but there’s nothing she could do.
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