Time seems to pass by so fast as I meditate. It\u2019s still hard to ignore the call of the blue flame. I want to dive back into it, but thankfully the Divine Light I feel when I channel through the crystal is just as fulfilling, if not more so. It takes me a little over twelve days, meditating around eight hours a day to complete my hours. Then I sit with Sister Jereno to pass her test where I show her that I can make the Light with ease. In fact, it\u2019s become almost instinctual. It barely takes a couple of seconds to clear my mind and bring the Light out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralodan, Biremeril, and Melyis have also made it to level one. Unfortunately, our next class is taught by a noble Sister named Eredina Duskforce. She\u2019s not so helpful, but the tasks we need to learn to achieve level two don\u2019t seem too hard. We have to be able to encompass ourselves within the Light, which it seems like I\u2019ve already done that. Then we also have to focus the Light to a point. It doesn\u2019t take long for Ralodan to complete it and pass on to level two, which makes me a little jealous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thankfully, I was right, and I have done part of it already. I\u2019m already able to encompass myself within the Light. It feels so natural to do so. It\u2019s as if my body seeks to be blanketed by it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, trying to focus that Light into a single point is a lot harder. That takes a lot of will and effort. I can hardly get it smaller than my palm. I feel like I have to use all my concentration and strength just to contain it within a ball that will fit inside my hand. It\u2019s a struggle. I have to fight it with both hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I spend all day in my room trying to squeeze the ball into a coin with no luck. By the time lunch comes around the next day, I\u2019m drenched in sweat and out of breath. I\u2019m exhausted. I pull myself to lunch and grab some food.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou kinda stink,\u201d Chalia says as she holds her nose as I take a seat next to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI have to agree with her,\u201d Charinva says, yet she doesn\u2019t even bother to cover her nose as she uses one hand to eat and the other to hold a book, sitting across from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s got you in a sweat?\u201d Ralodan says as takes the seat on the other side of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust trying to make a mountain into a molehill.\u201d I stab my fork into the vegetables and jam them in my mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCome again?\u201d Ralodan asks, raising an eyebrow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been trying to focus the Light into a point. I can\u2019t even get it smaller than a ball the size of my hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, that was easy,\u201d Chalia says, with a wave of her hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, I didn\u2019t have much of a problem with it either,\u201d Ralodan says as he points at the end of my fork. A tiny speck of Light rests on the tip of it. Ralodan has a huge grin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWoah! How did you get your energy to be so faint? Mine feels like it’s going to explode,\u201d Charinva asks as she stares up from her book, wide-eyed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralodan leans back in his chair with a casual smile. \u201cI just feel the flow. Light is already there. I make it shine the way I want it to. Just feel the flow of Light. You can only do that if you\u2019re in a state of flow yourself. Like when you meditate and enter that trancelike state. It\u2019s the flow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy do you call it the flow?\u201d Chalia asks, narrowing her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralodan just shrugs. \u201cI like the way it sounds. It sounds the way I think it feels.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She shrugs. \u201cFair enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, this flow is basically like meditating?\u201d Charinva asks as she pulls out a long stick that looks like the end of a quill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah. But it\u2019s not the same as meditation. You\u2019re active and aware of everything. It\u2019s more about letting go of your thoughts and who you are. You essentially become the Light. When you\u2019re like that, you can basically make it do what you want it to,\u201d he says before he stuffs his face with a fork full.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s extraordinary. I\u2019ve never seen that written anywhere. Where did you learn this?\u201d Charinva asks as she writes notes in the margins of her book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralodan shrugs. \u201cI don\u2019t know. It just felt natural. When I look at the Light, I can see the way it flows. It\u2019s like a river, almost. But it never wavers and always flows the straight path. If you can feel each particle within the Light and what it is, you can mold it however you want to. I don\u2019t know if that makes any sense at all. I just know that\u2019s how I feel it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll have to experiment a little until I feel what you\u2019re describing,\u201d Charinva says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think this might work with any other energy, too. At least it does with Arcane,\u201d he adds and she jots that down too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s your ink?\u201d Chalia asks Charinva as she looks around the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAn Ink bottle is a terrible inconvenience. I created this to eliminate that inconvenience,\u201d she says as she holds up the thing that looks like a featherless quill. \u201cIt\u2019s a quill, but I hollowed it out and put a tiny little ball at the tip, and it\u2019s held in there by a little chamber. As you move the ball, it gets wet in the ink.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, the ball rotates the ink out of the quill?\u201d I ask as I inspect the answer is yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes! Exactly.\u201d She smiles and looks a bit shocked by my statement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy father used to be somewhat of an inventor. Well, more of a fixer-upper. Everyone used to go to him to get their junk fixed.\u201d I smile. Thinking about memories that threaten to bring the tears out. I take a deep breath and try to find that flow Ralodan was speaking about. I seek the calm, breathing in the air and find it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After lunch, I head back to my room and try again. Instead of focusing on the task, I slip back into meditation, trying to seek that flow Ralodan speaks of. However, it\u2019s so hard to ignore that immense fire that calls to me. It tries to pull me to it. To submerge me into its overwhelming power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A knock at the door pulls me away. \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, it\u2019s me. Ralodan!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCome in!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He opens the door with his usual casual smile and steps in. \u201cI just wanted to see if you needed help with your task.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow do you enter this flow state when the fire of that energy inside us is trying to pull you into it?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat is a tough one. It\u2019s a hard call to ignore. It\u2019s so bright, vibrant, and addictive. The thing is, when you let the flame consume you, you are not flowing with it, but letting it overpower you and getting pushed by its power. You\u2019re not the one in control, or even the channeler; you\u2019re just the conduit. When you find the flow, you become the flame. It works the same with Divine Light as it does with the Arcane flame. You have to understand the flame and know it as you know yourself. Just as with the Divine Light. Let it flow inside you, just as you flow within it. Only then can you find balance in yourself and within the Light. Once you\u2019ve achieved that balance, you can ask the Light to do whatever you want it to, and it will obey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I nod, closing my eyes to meditate as he sits down in my chair. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Focusing on my heartbeat, my breath, and seeking the flow. I look deep inside me. Find the flames that burn deep within, but ignore the call. I try to see the flame for what it is, a light, an energy. It is made of so many little specks. They swirl like a fire. Breathing in and out, pulsing like a heartbeat. It feels alive within me. This living manifestation of energy, and I can feel its consciousness. A consciousness that is ageless and formless. It is within me and outside of me. It is all around me. I open my eyes and see it flowing like a river. It flows from source to source. From me to Ralodan, from Ralodan to me, connecting us along with everything else that contains the flame. \u201cI see it. It\u2019s beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralodan smiles. \u201cSee? You\u2019re becoming the flow. It\u2019s amazing, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt is. It truly is,\u201d I say, biting my lip, unable to contain my joy. \u201cHow\u2026 how did you discover this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralodan shrugs. \u201cI don\u2019t know how to explain it. I just knew it inside of me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look at him, searching his eyes. \u201cCan I ask you something personal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGo ahead,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat was your life like before you came to the church?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He shrugs. \u201cI lived in a monastery on an island somewhere north of here. The island was completely made up of the Church. Having beautiful cathedrals, churches, monasteries, and a full city of servants to the Light. I don\u2019t know my true parents. Never met them. I do have these weird dreams of people like me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He scratches his head as he bites his lip and then meets my eyes. He then sighs. \u201cI think they might be my family or siblings. They call me Reuel. I believe that means friend. And we follow our father, who I can\u2019t see or hear. I don\u2019t know his name, nor can I see his face. I just know his voice and his presence. It feels like I\u2019m a part of him in some strange way. It\u2019s odd, I know, but it\u2019s a dream. I also have weird dreams where I\u2019m another person. Like one dream, I was practicing magic in this academy. I was using my magic to win and lose at gambling. They called me Magnus. I also had a dream that I was somewhere cold. I was always full of anger and I kept getting into fights with people who were up to no good. My mother was a captain, and she called me Thorvir. There\u2019s a ton more like that. All of them are a bit odd. I just don\u2019t know what any of it means.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe he is not the Angel Akrasiel reborn. If he was, wouldn\u2019t his dreams call him as such? Despite that, maybe this Reuel person is someone important. Maybe he was a god or something? I don\u2019t know what to make of this Magnus or the human. Thinking about this rebirth stuff makes me realize something. If the Angel Akrasiel can be reborn, couldn\u2019t the other gods? The ones who seek to destroy or conquer us\u2026 Or even our older gods of the Arcane such as this Nabu? I look up at Ralodan. \u201cDo you think that the gods who sought to conquer or destroy us would also be reborn like the Angel Akrasiel?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He shrugs. \u201cI suppose that would make sense. I suppose if it works for one, it should work for the others. You are right, for some odd reason. After all, usually, these things are universal and consistent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re probably right.\u201d Now I\u2019m left with another question: who is Reuel and what does it all mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019ll leave you to practice now that you\u2019ve found the flow,\u201d he says with a smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank you so much for your help,\u201d I say and he just gives me that smile and nods before leaving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I close my eyes and find that same feeling. That flow. This time it is not as hard as before. I suppose, once you see it, once you understand it, it just comes naturally. Once I enter the flow state, it feels so right. I see how things work. How they are. I take the flow and direct it through the crystal and I\u2019m astonished when a flow of warm yellow light comes out. It\u2019s so full of joy, but it\u2019s not exactly pure. It\u2019s mostly Divine, but there\u2019s still some Arcane inside it. Not just Arcane, but something else. Something\u2026 Green. It mixes with the Arcane and Divine, giving this light a yellow hue, but it\u2019s neither Divine nor is it Arcane. I separate the three and study each of them. The Arcane I know quite well. It is the light that dwells inside me in a near ocean. I can feel it within me, burning. It also swarms around my invisible ring. That is how he was able to see it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Divine Light is something different. It is pure white. Not only is it joy, but it is also justice. It lacks the chaos that Arcane has. It\u2019s pure order. A Light that heals and protects. It seeks to still the chaos and bring peace and stability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My gaze then lands on the green light. It\u2019s not that different from the Divine Light, but it lacks its order. It\u2019s not exactly chaotic, but it is caught somewhere in between order and chaos. Struggling to find both. The green also heals. And it seeks to grow and flourish. It also clings to the other two lights, seeking their warmth. The green light seems to flourish when it is connected with them. Not only that, it makes them grow stronger as well. That is odd\u2026 What is this green light? What does it represent? I seek it out and find more of it within me, which is even stranger yet. There\u2019s actually quite a bit of it inside me. I never noticed it before because it is so intertwined with the Arcane Light, and rather silent compared to it, yet it makes the Arcane stronger and brighter. What could it possibly be, and why does it react like this? It\u2019s strange.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I decide to seek out more of it. I head outside of my room and follow the flow of the lights. Arcane and Divine Light seem to struggle with each to fill the room. Not quite like oil and water, because they seem to meld into each other somewhat, but not completely. The chaos within the Arcane Flame seems to propel the Divine Light, and the Divine Light struggles to bring order to the chaos within the Arcane light. yet the two seem to merge with a benevolent joyfulness within both of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I follow the flow and stop when I come across another being that swells with both of them, along with that green Light. \u201cHey, Lura, you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pull myself out of the flow to find Chalia looking at me with a worried expression. \u201cYou look as if you\u2019re kind of out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smile at her. \u201cI did it, Chalia. The flow that Ralodan spoke of. I discovered it and it is incredible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She narrows her eyes. \u201cReally? How so?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can see the flow of energies within the air and within us. It\u2019s so beautiful,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow did you do it?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou just have to let go of control and open your eyes. See the Light and the flame for what they are. Once you discover what they are, you can see it flow. It\u2019s amazing,\u201d I say, unable to contain my excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She tilts her head, biting her lip. \u201cI guess I will give it a try, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She then heads off to her own room. I return to the flow and follow it, finding the white and blue rivers fighting and melding with each other down the halls. It\u2019s strange how there is no green light in the air. How come? I only seem to find it within people. What is it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I head out to the courtyard and gasp, quickly becoming overwhelmed. The green light is everywhere outside. Within the green grass and in the little pollen that gets carried by the gentle breeze. It\u2019s in the trees, the flowers, and it even shines down in the sunlight. I suddenly understand what it is. It\u2019s life. The green light is life itself. That\u2019s why it seems to cling to the other two lights. And that\u2019s why it seems to blossom and grow. It flourishes under the light of the others, in turn giving them strength as well. This is truly the most beautiful and majestic thing I\u2019ve ever seen and felt. I remember now what Akrasiel said about life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Celestial life seeks to spread and blossom<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is what this energy is called. Celestial life. I breathe in the air and in turn take in the Light. Filling myself with life. It feels so refreshing. So vibrant and alive. I always want to feel it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After finding the flow, forming a point with the Light feels as easy as lifting my finger. I just take the particles of the Light in the air and weave them together, brightening the shine. I realize now what Ralodan had done at lunch and how he was able to control the brightness. It was about the concentration of these tiny little flecks of Light. He concentrated them within a focal point, enough to give a faint glow without becoming too dense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course, I passed the test easily enough. This makes Biremeril frustrated. He can\u2019t quite figure out how to get the Light to form a point. Meanwhile, Melyis also passed, and I assume Ralodan showed her as well. The two seem to grow closer and closer. I pull Biremeril aside and teach him how to reach the state of flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It takes him a good deal of explaining, lots of questions, and a few demonstrations before it finally clicks for him. Chalia also finds it and so does Charinva. I assume Charinva figured it out solely based on what Ralodan said at lunch. She\u2019s so smart. She\u2019s still quite surprised that she hasn\u2019t found it mentioned in any text. It seems few people know of the flow, or are reluctant to talk about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With this flow, the lessons we have to learn at each level seem so easy. Healing is as simple as weaving those tiny flecks of Light within the cut and pulling the torn flesh, muscle, and veins together as if I was sewing a quilt or dress. The Light does most of the work, mending the flesh and muscles. Cleansing and purifying diseases and illnesses is not that different. Using the Light, you let it flow through the body, burning up the corruption within it. It\u2019s nothing more than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Sisters are astonished at our progress and ease. It seems none of them know the flow. How were they able to do all this without the flow? It seems impossible to do it without seeing the flow of the Light. Even the spells I thought were so difficult within the books I borrow from Charinva are now so simple. It\u2019s just a matter of directing the flow in order to get that result. Like with transmutation. When I look at the metal, I can see the tiny particles within it. I just have to weave their flow to extract what is needed to change it into something else. Of course, it is the thing I extract that presents the danger, and vice versa for doing the opposite. Of course, to do the opposite, you have to extract what is needed from part of it and put it into the rest of it. Like with turning iron into gold, it seems like you\u2019re left with less, but in truth, the gold is far more than the iron. It makes so much sense now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course, it\u2019s quite difficult to take the air and make it gold. I would nearly suffocate myself trying to draw enough air in to make an adequate amount of gold. Besides, air itself is more complicated than I originally believed. There isn\u2019t just one kind of air. It\u2019s mixed with so many different kinds of air, if that makes any sense. I don\u2019t know how else to explain it. I take a little pleasure when I surpass Olizara Greatgazer, the girl who taught my first class as a Novice. She was not happy about it, but there\u2019s nothing she could do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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