I barricade myself within my room and attempt to bury myself in my bed. I can\u2019t even go down the halls without being shamed. They call me a whore, a witch for corrupting Orym, and worse. They think I should be banished from the church. That I am some kind of demon and that\u2019s the only reason I was able to pass so easily through the ranks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t care about any of them. I want nothing to do with this place anymore. I hate it here. It used to be a place I wanted to call home and now it\u2019s become my own personal hell. The Light evades me, and all I find is darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just want it to all end. I just want to be back with Orym.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have no more strength left inside me to carry on anymore. When night arrives and the cathedral is all but asleep, I head out to the halls to the place where the names of the fallen are written in stone. I find Orym\u2019s name and trace my fingers over the engraved letters. \u201cI can\u2019t bear it any longer, my love. I don\u2019t want to endure this pain anymore. I realize I don\u2019t really want to die; I just want relief. I just want to be reunited with you, but that cannot happen within this life. Maybe it can happen in the next, whatever that may bring.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLura\u2026\u201d I turn around to see Ralodan walking up to me. \u201cYou\u2019re in so much pain\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He walks up to me, but that smile that always brought so much warmth is nowhere to be found. \u201cIt hurts me to see you like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can do,\u201d I say, pulling my eyes away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe not, but I will not stand by while people hurt. I, too, know what it feels like to find that your heart wants to love. It is wrong to forbid such things,\u201d he says as walks up to the stone monuments and looks at the names engraved upon them. \u201cI am in love with Melyis, and I will not let these laws forbid it of me. Neither can I let you be broken by them. It is not the way of the Light. This I know in my heart. And I can see the hypocrisy within the church. Not many abide by this rule yet only a few are punished for breaking it. It\u2019s unjust and unfair. Neither you nor Orym deserved this fate, and it angers me to see you endure it. Anger isn\u2019t something I\u2019m used to feeling. It is foreign to me and I don\u2019t like it. I don\u2019t like it one bit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know what you want me to do,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He turns to look me in the eye. \u201cStand with me and fight this injustice. Help me change the rules and strike it down. Maybe it is too late for Orym, but that doesn\u2019t mean we can\u2019t honor him by righting this wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look away. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing we can do about it. We are but mere Accepted. Who are we to say what is the law?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, you are. I became a Brother not that long ago while you were grieving. But regardless, we are servants of the Light. That means we do what is right in the name of the Light. Don\u2019t give up hope. You may never find love again, but you can still honor the one you gave your heart to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026 You\u2019re asking a lot of me, and I just don\u2019t have anything left inside of me,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can understand, but promise me this; you must not give up. Don\u2019t give in to the dark. Stay strong and live on. Live for Orym. Live for your family,\u201d he says. His words seem to spark a light of hope inside me. My family\u2026 How could I forget about them? My entire purpose was to free them, yet even that seems so far out of reach. I can\u2019t even bring myself to see the flow anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look up at Ralodan. \u201cI will try, but I can\u2019t make any promises.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat is good enough for me. Now go get some rest. It is late,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I nod, and he gives me that warm smile of his. I head back to my room and find Chalia sitting on my bed. She gets up when I enter and hugs me. \u201cOh, thank the light. I thought you went and did something drastic. I was worried sick about you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She squeezes me tightly, then lets up, but holds onto my shoulders. \u201cDon\u2019t listen to those awful nobles. They’re the ones who are spreading the rumors. But the strays will have your back. We won\u2019t abandon you. You\u2019re still one of us, and besides, none of them can see Terel\u2019s message, but you can. That means you\u2019re more worthy than they are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wipe away the tears and hug her again. \u201cThanks, Chalia.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOf course, and\u2026 Lura\u2026 I have something I\u2019ve been meaning to tell you,\u201d she says as she pulls back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look up and meet her eyes. \u201cYou can tell me anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI kinda feel like a hypocrite. Or as if I betrayed you. I don\u2019t know,\u201d she says as she tears her eyes away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d I ask, a little confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been in an intimate relationship with Damaris for a really long time now,\u201d she says, leaving my jaw hanging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut\u2026 She\u2019s a Sister and you\u2019re an Accepted. She recruited you and\u2026 But\u2026 Damaris\u2026 She wouldn\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chalia lets out a sigh and meets my eyes. \u201cIt\u2019s not what you think. I\u2019ve known Damaris all my life. My father took her in when she was just a child a long, long time ago. Before I was even born. Of course, I\u2019m just a bastard child, so\u2026 yeah. She was an orphan and my father and my step-mother\u2026 or should I say my father\u2019s wife. She was never really a mother to me since I was the child of an affair my father had with another woman\u2026 But Damaris was the daughter of my father\u2019s friend, and her parents died during the fighting when King Volodar left or before. I don\u2019t know the exact details of what happened since it was long before I was born, but despite that, she practically raised me. We were close growing up, both misfits. She wasn\u2019t exactly accepted by my father\u2019s wife, but she was tolerated, unlike me, and she always looked after me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A smile forms on Chalia\u2019s lips as twirls a strand of hair around her finger. \u201cLike an older sister at times. She helped me get my magic permit and taught me nearly everything I know. When my father died and I lost everything, she helped me find my feet again. She helped me find a place to stay. We grew even closer after my father\u2019s death and one thing led to another. We fell in love with each other, not that we didn\u2019t have a love for each other before, it was just different. Of course, she was always reluctant at first because she was with the church and you know the rules about relationships, but she knew just like I knew that this love wasn\u2019t wrong. Of course, she finally convinced me that if we were really going to be together, I also had to join the church, so I did. And here I am.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her eyes wander around the room, avoiding my own. I can\u2019t blame her nor Damaris for their feelings for each other. It\u2019s even laughable to think I could. Not in a funny way. Who am I to judge someone else\u2019s heart? \u201cI understand. Your secret is safe with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She hugs me rather hard. \u201cI knew I could trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I look into her eyes. \u201cSo, your father knew my grandfather, then? Didn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know what my father knew. Even though he was kind to me and always treated me well, he never told me much of anything. In fact, I rarely ever got to spend time with him. His wife never wanted me around. He died before we could ever really get to know one another.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s so sad,\u201d I say, and this time I pull her into a hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She breaks off not long after. \u201cIt is in the past and I am over it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She meets my gaze once more. \u201cI just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, and that we, all the strays, stand with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank you, Chalia. I couldn\u2019t have asked for a better friend. No, a better sister,\u201d I say and we embrace once more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
—<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t walk through the halls alone anymore, but my friends walk with me. My pain still hurts, but it is made bearable with the support of my fellow strays. Even more so, I feel the will to fight return inside me. A glimmer of hope reignites the flames that nearly went out inside me. I find myself coming back to life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hold tight to it and go back to my training. Ralodan is right. We must always fight for what is right. I return to practicing my shields. At first, it is hard to find that flow. It is so hard to let go. To let go of the pain and the hurt. To let go of all that has been done to me and those I care about, but somehow, I find it within myself to do just that. I let go of it all and find the flow once more. I weave the Light into a shield and pure, warm yellow light with Arcane Fire, Celestial Life, and the Divine Light. It is made strong not because it is pure, but because it holds within it the strengths of three lights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bask in its intensity and breathe in the power of these lights. I take the shield and pull it within me. Feel the energy fill me. A mix of emotions washes over me as I embrace each light. I feel so strong. Stronger than before. But finally, I let go of the flow and the lights. The hollowness returns. I take in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I wish I could hold the Light always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the small chamber, I\u2019ve occupied to practice, I feel I am no longer alone. I turn to meet someone I wasn\u2019t expecting. The High Father. He sends his guards to wait outside, so it is just us. \u201cI knew you looked familiar. I never forget a face.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My skin crawls as he closes the distance between us like a spider creeping towards its prey. \u201cYou were one of the whores at the brothel. I remember you. I had my eye on you then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d I ask suspiciously, taking a step back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, I think you know what I want,\u201d he says, his grin turning rather sadistic. \u201cI have an appetite for women like you. Little whores.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am not a whore,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, don\u2019t deny it. Besides, do me a favor and I can help you rise here. But cross me and I can be your worst nightmare.\u201d His greedy grin turns into an utterly terrifying scowl, but the grin returns. \u201cI am the High Father after all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can smell his taint as he closes the gap between us and his hand goes up to my chest. Without hesitating, I slap him hard enough to send his face sideways. He growls and sneers as he wheels on me. \u201cYou dirty whore! You think I can\u2019t ruin you? I\u2019ve done it to so many whores before you. I can have you in chains. Either way, I will take what I want regardless of what it will cost you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A surge of burning hot energy burns inside of me as I send him flying back, slamming against the wall. Everything happens so quickly after that. Guards rush into the room. The High Father screams and shouts for them to arrest me. I feel the Light burn within me as I fight them off, but a force of overwhelming red, hot taint storms through the chamber and slams me to the ground. It feels so dirty and unholy, smelling foul. It forces me to my knees as a figure walks into the chamber with eyes burning red. His voice seems to burn through the room. \u201cWhat is going on here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The High Father is on his knees, pleading with the figure. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t my fault, forgive me. I confronted the bastard girl, and she attacked me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The burning hot red light seems to fade, and I gasp as I see Father Fylson Greran in the middle of it, standing above the High Father. His face is contorted with anger and disgust, and it looks wrong. \u201cLies. Once again, Arbelladon, your lust has made a mess for us. This will be the last time I clean up for you. Next time, we will replace you and find someone more suitable for the task.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLord, what should we do with the girl?\u201d a guard asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His burning, hateful eyes land upon me. \u201cPut a collar on her and sell her to the humans in Chillshore. They\u2019ll put the whore to good use. They are always in need of whores to keep the spirits up of the men who work the mines, and that will get her out of our hair.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before I can protest, a collar is wrapped around my neck, and a wall forms between me and the energies inside me, leaving me weak. I scream out with tears falling from my eyes. \u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Father Fylson walks away without another word. The High Father quickly gets up and dusts himself off, trying to reclaim any dignity he has before he walks up to me and backhands me. \u201cConsider yourself lucky, whore. If I had my way, I would do things to you that would make the things those men in Chillshore will do to you feel like a mercy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looks over at the guards. \u201cSearch her and find everything she has on her possession.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The men don\u2019t hesitate, nearly stripping me to find only a letter. Thankfully, they do not even think about searching for invisible objects. But my heart leaps into my throat when I see what letter the High Father snatches into his hands. Orym\u2019s letter. \u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cruel grin lights up the High Father\u2019s face. \u201cWhat is this\u2026 A love letter?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He laughs as he holds it in front of my face and I watch in tears as it burns to ashes. \u201cNow take her to the Golden High Elf Trading Company and have her placed on the first ship to Chillshore. The humans will have a good time with her, lucky bastards.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m dragged through the halls of the Cathedral in chains as Brothers, Sisters, Accepted and Novice walk out of the rooms and chambers, wide-eyed and slacked-jawed to witness. I just hang my head in shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d that familiar voice echoes. I lift my head to see Chalia walk up with the rest of the strays including Ralodan, Biremeril, and Melyis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t do this!\u201d Ralodan says, stepping forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOut of the way,\u201d one of the men who\u2019s dragging me out says, pushing Ralodan out of the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs this what the Light calls for? Dragging an innocent girl out in chains!\u201d Ralodan responds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThese are the orders of the High Father,\u201d the man responds. They continue to drag me through the halls and out of the Cathedral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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