I feel as if I walk upon the clouds. My smile won’t fade and this joy won’t either. I do not know how I came to be so fortunate to experience this love, but I will cherish it.
All day I wait for the moment to come where I can be with Orym. My holy Paladin. The hero of my heart. I can’t help but consider his offer to join the church and be with him, even though we’d have to keep our relationship in the shadows. Even so, it would be worth it. A love in the shadows with this much passion is far better than no love at all.
As my shift begins, I happily skip over to the Brothel. Madame gives me a room and I sit and wait for the handsome man to return to me. I make sure my dress is straight, my hair done up, the room clean, and everything perfect while I wait.
I pace and drink a glass of wine, waiting for my love to come. I know he’ll come. He said he would, and I know he’s a man of his word. He will come.
I look out the window for him and watch the moons chase each other across the sky. Finally, a knock at the door startles me. I quickly make sure everything is perfect, re-straightening my dress and hair while checking the room before I answer the door. Unfortunately, it’s Madame. “I’m sorry, child. I do not think he is coming and I need the room.”
“But he said he’d come. I know he’ll come,” I say in protest.
“Then I will find another room for you when he does show up,” she says. I relent and follow her out. “Why don’t you wait on some tables in the meantime? Don’t forget why you’re working here. Your family should come first. And child…”
I meet her eyes. “Don’t give your heart to a man who has to pay for it with coin. More often than not, they don’t deserve it.”
I don’t say anything, but I want to. Orym is not like that. He is a kind and an honorable man. I know that in my heart, but I do as she says and wait tables while enduring disgusting remarks and men’s wandering hands. Maybe he wasn’t able to sneak away tonight. Maybe he was sent on a mission. There must be a reasonable explanation for his absence. I’m sure he’ll tell me tomorrow when he arrives.
However, when tomorrow arrives, he does not come with it. I spend all night serving drinks at the cost of my self-worth. Serving these disgusting men who love to degrade and demean women with awful remarks. It can wear down even the hardest of souls.
The next night is the same. No Orym, and my heart cracks with every night we are apart. Surely, he is out on a mission. Surely, he’ll return. I just have to wait, but the days go by. Madame suggests I should take up other customers to earn money, but I’m reluctant to do so. What if I do and he returns? I couldn’t bear his heartbreak if he saw me with another man.
However, that night as I return to the room I share with Tyma, who was kind enough to let me move in with her after she finally moved out of the Brothel, I find the place broken into. All the coin I worked so hard to save was stolen. I felt so broken and devastated. Every last copper I’d earned was gone. All the coin I was saving to free my family was all gone!
I can’t help but break down and cry. Even Tyma’s words can’t make me feel any better. Even worse is the awful feeling in my gut telling me that perhaps Orym didn’t love me. Perhaps he just said those things to take my virginity. Maybe he’ll never return; he’ll just move on to another brothel and use another whore as dumb as me for believing his lies. I bury my face into my pillow and scream. I hate this world.
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